where's my standing? part 1

recently, im "lost" for a while. after the big conflict, im always thinks whether am i a good leader,am i took a good action or solution, am i hurt people feel, am i fault when im revealing the true, am i consider people situation, do i have to continue this. does my action make myself a bad leader? does people still trust in me? am i doing a good job? why people talking bad to me? why he/she really selfish?is she/he have problem in mind? can i help them? why they jealous with me? did i make them jealous? do i look arrogant? what's in me that make themselves jealous with me? are they challenge me quietly? why you touch my girl? why they making such fuss? do they know their own fault? if they know, why still do it? are you stupid or what? why im feel guilty? im guilty for what? dont you think you are really childish and immature? do you have mercy on them? do you love them as your brother and sister? do you respect them? why you still want hurt them again? are you blind and deaf? am i showoff with what i have?why you always compare us? im not judge you, im speaking the truth. why you still make this conflict more bigger? why you still dont aware what you doing? are you a good friend? tell me what good things you done to me? tell me what the bad things you do to me? tell me how i was look like? are you respect me? do you know how to respect people? 

there's many more thought across in my mind but i wanna sleep first.